The sex was good
She rolled over on her stomach and stretched her legs, she
could still feel herself throbbing in between,from where he had been
She wished he didn’t have
to leave
But he had to-he said
He had to go for work
He was always leaving…
Leaving her feeling empty when just moments ago she had been
feeling like he was never going to stop,making her moan and come over and over
again,it felt like forever then…
Until he had to leave-he said
She looked up at him from the bed as he put on his jeans…
The sound of his zipper as he pulled it up sent a
bittersweet wave throughout her body,her mind..
Just a moment ago,
I was lying in his arms,powerless,she thought to herself,
Submitting my body to everything his body commanded me
A moment ago his zipper had gone down,to reveal his
magnificent manhood,a true promise of what pleasures would come
Pleasures that would take her body like a slave and spiral
her out of control..making her centre ooze with sweetness
And now…
Now he had to leave-he said.
‘’I’ll call you”’ she heard him say
She didn’t respond..she knew he wasn’t going to call.
It was always like this…
She turned on her side and closed her eyes as she heard him
leave and close the door,
And she remained lying there still,in the loud quiet of her
small room,
She could still smell him on the sheets,
She could still smell the sex
The sex was good…
She could still feel her mound throbbing..from where he had
been.
‘’why do you put up with this?’’ she heard her other self ask,a part of her that spoke
reason.
‘’because the sex is good..’’ her inner whore said
‘’because you love it when he goes down on you
Because you have never had such great sex in your life and
may never find it anywhere else except with him’’
‘’he treats you like shit’’
‘’I love him’’
‘’no,you love the sex,you love how he grabs your neck,and
makes you beg for it
You love how you get wet and how your body quivers when he
puts his fingers inside your folds and plays you like an instrument’’
‘’its not enough. He is a douche-bag and you know it’’
‘’I love him’’
‘’you mean you love the sex-that has made you think you love
him’’
She shut her mind off the voices in her head and her mind
went back to 3 days ago
He had come home drunk,reeking of alcohol at 2 in the
morning…
He hadn't been picking her calls on the number of times she
had tried to call him.
The last time she tried he had cut the line
And here he was,drunk as fuck…
But she still let him in
Because ‘’she loved him’’ she told herself. No man is
perfect after all right?
But no,it wasn’t that..
it was because the sex was good.
He was less than a man,he was nothing but a body without a
mind,without a dime to his name and an empty future.
She knew that
‘’so why cant you leave him? You are better than this
miserable relationship’’
He had collapsed on the couch and blacked out. She had
looked at him then and felt disgusted and walked towards her room leaving him
there.
She had lain in the dark for hours feeling empty,and
wondering if this was all there was to life,and her relationship
Outside the world thought she was happy…
A tear escaped her eye and she quickly wiped it away
At 6 in the morning she had felt him slide in besides her in
bed and put his arm around her,he had quickly continued on with his slumber
She lay there,not wanting to move
She lay there feeling his arm around her and told
herself,surely its not that bad right?
After all he just went for a drink,he must be stressed out
at work
He does love me
But she lay there uncertain…
And now here she was again…uncertain
The sex was good…
‘’is that enough for you?’’
‘’yes,well its not like am looking to get married to him or
anything’’she continued to tell herself.
‘’does that make this ok?’’
A moment ago she had been loved,the way she enjoyed it
He had taken and ravaged her body,like an animal..the way
she wanted it
And for a moment,she had forgotten about his shortcomings
The forgotten phone calls
Forgotten birthdays
Forgotten appointments
She had momentarily forgotten how he didn’t bother to find
out about how her day had been at work,or how he wouldn’t even notice when she
tried out a new hairstyle
All he cared about was himself
She momentarily forgot as she felt him thrust harder and
harder and felt herself get wetter and wetter,she forgot as he made her moan
helplessly
She forgot as he moved inside her,nothing mattered when he
was doing these things to her.
Maybe he just needed time-she told herself. And he would see
how special she was and appreciate her more,that she was more than just her
body.
He would actually take interest in her life,her aspirations
and dreams.
But days went by,days turned to weeks,weeks to months and
months to years
Nothing changed…
Except the sex was good…
She loved his dick,loved its majesty…
But he wasn’t present.
His mind was elsewhere….
Weeks would go by and she wouldn’t hear from him..
Then he would call from the blue and talk to her like they
had just hang out earlier
‘’hey you’’
And she would forget how lousy she had been feeling,how
abandoned and uncared for she had felt,because his voice was sexy too and she
would crave for his touch
Because the sex was good
Why couldn’t she just leave?
Because the sex was good..it was like a spell over her body
‘’because you love him’’
But is this how love was supposed to be?
‘’hey you,are you there?’’
She heard him say on the phone..
‘’hey’’ she responded…this time it has to end. I deserve
better she decided.
‘’are you home?’’
‘’I cant do this anymore Martin’’
‘’cant do what honey?’’
Honey…like he actually cared
‘’this…this so called relationship-I cant’’
‘’come on don’t say that,whats wrong?,listen am coming
over’’ and the line cut
And she let him in the house
Why couldn’t she just have let him be outside?
Because the sex was good
It was like a drug
He moved closer-and closer until he was close enough to hold
her waist.
‘’do you still want to end this baby? What we have is
special’’
She felt helpless under his power.
No,she had to will herself to end this,she had to stay
strong. This couldn’t continue. It was too toxic-to what end?
But his power over her was too strong,he willed her body
with a single touch and once again she was his sex slave,doing whatever he
wanted.
Because the sex was good
He kissed her soft lips,and whispered in her ear ‘’I want
you now’’
And she could feel his member confirming he wanted her
She had to stop this,stop herself from succumbing
he was never going to be good for her-she knew this…
but the sex was….
She felt him get harder still
Felt herself get weak in the knees.
How could one man possess so much power over me?
He moved his hand below and pulled and felt for
her trembling hot thighs
He continued his assault as he moved on towards her mound
and felt her centre,she was already excited…her body had a mind of its own
He pushed his fingers in slowly and she gasped
She wanted him again
No..it had to end. She had to end it
But the sex was good.
But the sex was good.
Oh my..he kept moving his fingers inside her,this way and
that way..and she could feel everything,her body flushed as she got warmer
The sex was good,
It was like a spell she couldn’t break
She moaned as his fingers continued commanding her body to
submit
Gasped as he entered her savagely..the way she liked..
She didn’t want him to stop
No he had to stop…
But the sex was good
Another moan escaped her,it was pleasurable torture
‘’I know you want me. I can feel you’’ he said
His voice turned her on further and she felt herself soak in
her juices
‘’I want you’’ he said
He took her lips again and kissed her softly,nudging her
lips open and she succumbed to his will
Feeling his warm tongue,he tasted good,smelled so good..
She didn’t want him to stop..
Maybe just one last time..let this be goodbye…
……………………………………………………………
She lay there and heard the door close
He had to go for work he said,and would call her.
He had left her-again-until the next time he felt he needed
her.
She knew she wasn’t going to hear from him for weeks.
This had to end
She slowly got up and walked towards the bathroom ..
She didn’t flinch even when she felt the cold water splash on her hot body
She felt nothing,just an emptiness..
Was this it? Your life?
The sex was good..
No..it wasn’t enough
She needed love,she craved for friendship and support,she
craved for that which she needed the most.
A man who truly loved her
A man who would bring out the best in her
This was too lonely
She needed her innermost self to be unlocked and
understood,she needed a champion
The sex was good
Not good enough to give her all these things
She deserved better she told herself as she stood under the
shower..
The water ran down her body…
………………………………………………………..
It was Wednesday evening…it had been two weeks she hadn't
heard from him.
Her phone rang.
It was him,he did what he did always,spoke to her like they
had just hang out earlier..
Like everything was ok
‘’hey you,how you doing?’
Like it was a normal thing to disappear and reappear whenever
one felt like.
‘’hi’’she responded
‘’I miss you’’
She didn’t respond
He continued on ‘’so am coming over. Its been hectic at work
but I cleared my schedule tonight just to see you’’
So what he was expecting her to be grateful?
She didn’t respond
‘’I miss you baby. Just starting off now’’
‘’no’’
‘’uh? what?’’
‘’I said no’’
‘’no to what?’’
‘’no you cant come over’’
‘’oh? Uh? You busy or..?’’
‘’I cant Martin”
‘’mmm baby come on,I miss you’’..
Am sure you do
‘’no’’..she hang up.
She couldn’t no more
The sex was good
Not good enough to fill her void
She needed more of what was good in her life
She was thirsty for fulfilling companionship that would
actually make her grow as a person
Not meaningless episodes of ejaculations…
She needed meaning and purpose
Not a loveless relationship
Not a walking sex object in her house
She needed love and poetry
The sex was good but no…
She had compromised her standards and worth for sex
Her phone rang again…
She caressed it slowly and watched it ring…
Then she hurled it
against the wall where it broke into a hundred pieces.
The sex had been good.
It was good while it lasted…
