The Bitch in Me

Being a bitch isn’t necessarily something women want, its kind of derived over time through crappy experiences.

I can be tolerant, but when pushed I can be a bitch to protect myself.

Being a “bitch” isn’t all bad, when used in the right way, its just bad when it gets in the way of your personal life and starts to irritate other people.

Last week I had to deal with the office bitch drama-this office bitch; who happens to be a guy thinks he runs the office and bulldozes his way around doing things.

Am sure you have probably come across the office bitch one way or the other, you know that one who seems to make you miserable.

Everything is about them.

A couple of times I have been at logger heads with the bitch, he doesn’t like to be challenged,he is one of “those” typical African men, I just have to do things without asking and I fail to do that,because I need to know why I am doing things the way he says I should do them,I don’t work on commands,I believe in team work.

 This office bitch has on more than one occasion tried to jeopardize my work by withholding information, making rude remarks-which he felt weren’t and at times handing over work he should have been doing because he found it “boring”.

Most organizations don’t have any “anti bitch” policy; if you will, so they don’t see the bitch bullying you around.

The Bitch does not necessarily have to be aggressive; the bitch will take credit for your work, sabotage your work or simply ignore you, like you aren’t even there. Some bitches use obscene language.

My particular bitch likes pats on the back, taking credit,is pathetic at communication and withholds important information.

In most cases,reporting the bitch to HR only makes things worse. HR often have their hands tied if the bitch is upper management.

More people find that reporting the bitch to HR only heightens the animosity. And most people that are bitched around prefer to leave the workplace.

Its not pleasant to deal with a bitch-its emotionally and physically taxing and you  can wind up feeling depressed.

I must say,I was very depressed.

But I learned that to deal with the bitch,I had to bring out the bitch in me too.

The bitch in me comes out everytime i feel taken for granted.

There’s nothing I hate more.

Starting from “boys” (that claim they are men and the usual of “am not like the others” story they sing) who dont return calls, down to the office bully.

I hate being taken for granted, especially when I know for a fact and its clear that I have been doing my best in everything.

Initially I may feel a little depressed,but after that am in the “don’t give a fuck” zone,where if the office bitch zaps his way I’d zap right back in a cool controlled manner and that would be the end of that.

Because life is short,I wouldn’t want to waste my time agonizing over someone I wasn’t even born with.

Heres how you can deal with that office bitch:

-the sooner you sort out the issue the better,tell the bitch you don’t like him/her being bitchy,that it makes you less productive(don’t say he/she makes you sad),he’ll take advantage.

-listen to your gut,guts are usually right-especially when it comes to the office bitch,if you feel like he’s sabotaging your work,he probably is.

-keep records of all incidences, you will need that in case of a management meeting or in case of court-yes it can even go that far.

-Don’t share stuff with the bitch even on a good day,he/she will use that against you one day,the office bitch tries to find your weak points. So don’t.

-be efficient and do your work diligently (I learned that from the Queen herself (my mother)), there will be nothing to pin you on if you do your work correctly and efficiently and even proactively. It pays off. This is particularly important if the bitch is a guy and you are a lady,there’s all this stereotyping that you need to deal with and you have to work twice as hard to prove yourself and earn your respect.

-Conquer evil with good. There’s nothing that annoys the bitch more than an assertive co-worker,even though it may be a challenge at times, retaliate with goodness.

-Don’t always say yes to the bitch-he/she will take advantage; they need to respect that and not take advantage of you. When you say no-say why and mean it.

-Meditate, I found this has really helped me a lot,in times when I felt I could hit the bitch with a stapler,I learned to control myself.

I have on several occasions liked some guy or the other,but eventually I find that they have “handicaps” with communication. That brings out the bitch in me too.

See when you tell a lady you will call and you don’t-really you cant blame her when she gets bitchy. Its seriously undermining her. Either you will call or you wont. If you wont-NEVER say “I’ll call you” as a way of goodbye or hanging up farewell. She will be the baddest bitch-especially if she likes you. If she doesn’t like you-she wont even go red when you don’t call.

Another thing that brings out the bitch in me is-being broke.

When am broke I get bitchy because I cant do my hair,cant buy any shoes,cant pay for this bill or the other,cant send money to mom, and I cant go anywhere on weekends so am stuck at home on facebook,or stuck at home with a boring channel and endless texts from Ex boyfriends,which make me even bitchier. In a nutshell I feel stuck somewhere when am broke-and it makes me a tad bitchy.

Periods-those ones its automatic-every woman is a bitch because of them. You just have to deal with them.

Kids-sometimes they make me bitchy with their wining.

No sex-am on overdrive and I cant get any? Of course I’ll be a bitch-a snappy loud mouthed bitch. He isn’t serious and you not getting any. Or he’s there but he has some other funny girl somewhere and you are just a sideplate,of course it will make you bitchy because one you blame yourself for getting into something like that in the first place,so you “bitchilize” yourself , oh and maybe the same kama girl calls you (however she gets the number) and calls you a bitch too for “being with her man” and you bitch on her for calling YOU a bitch  and three,-how dare he lead you on when he knew nothing was gonna come out of it so you bitch on him too-and he winds up being-“like the rest of them” or he’s single quite alright but the guy has no clue what you need-so you bitch him too. How can he have no clue-Bitch.

Why cant he just be gay already then!

Even when you wave your tits at him he prefers football or the bottle  or his goon “buddies” to your plump ass.

To say we are from Venus and they are from Mars is an understatement.

My struggle in a man’s world continues.

I don’t mind much being single lately,I like my space-just miss the sex every now n then-the good sex that is, not the pathetic one where he doesn’t seem to know what he’s doing-but I’ll save that for another day.

Most men are just too much work. I don’t have the time to “educate”.

Yes we aren’t all perfect,I get that. But-the level of blankness in our men is just too much.

And no its not because I go to “the wrong places” whats the right place anyways. Theres no “right” place. We just meet em-when it happens it happens-you give em a chance and they just blow it.

Maybe I’ll get myself pregnant by some guy that I’ll like next and forget about it, dump his ass if we don’t click-I’d have had a kid and that would be more than enough then…sit and wait for menopause.

Yup-all in a day’s work.