MY "V".....

I love my vagina; I love the fact that it doesn’t look as creepy as the penis. Unlike the penis which looks like a deformed snake, it looks like a cute flower.

Everynow n then I look at her to see how she’s doing,does she need a shave,maybe a lil massage therapy,some kegels-which unfortunately some women don’t know a thing about-but now they will know.

If she could talk she’d tell you about the gory details of when she lost her hymen-and how she felt.

Losing your virginity is a big issue for her. She has to face this creepy looking deformed like snake pushing up her mouth! Flexing in, winding down her throat and  it just doesn’t lodge there, this  creepy “snake” snakes in n out  in all that tiny hallway.

She’d tell you about how she has to deal with the gyn visit, the period visits and then theres the child birth.

The vagina has enough stamina.

I look at it and am like wow-so strong,small yet flexible enough.

Seriously underestimated.

 Kinda like me you know,when people see me they tend to underestimate because am usually this sweet n bubbly lady,but I talk about the things people “like me” wouldn’t normaly talk about. I can be blunt and I can be sharp and it leaves some people shocked. Anyways that’s kinda how the vagina is. Its delicate appearance makes one wonder how is it possible that a baby can come out of there-and endure so much snaking from the “deformed snakes”-am not shooting my brothers,we love the “snakes”(and the “worms”,well,not so much the “worms” but anyways…) its just a little creepy that’s all. For a moment we forget how creepy it is when we are doing you but sometimes we look and say “seriously”…God is good all the time-and all the time God is good. I gues He alone knows why they look so creepy and we look so flowerish. I like God’s sense of humor,I mean just think,he gives the pig thirty whole minutes of an orgasm?! Ahahahaha A pig of all things,why not us? lol

Anyways,back to my vagina,I have always been comfortable with how I look down there,until recently when some events started putting questions in my head.

Aparently,“As an African woman,one is expected to have long labia before marriage” .

I had heard about this “malepe”(African word for labia) thing when I was but a teenager but didnt put my mind to it, just a young girl focused on my studies I figured the other girls were just obsessed with sex and didn’t pay much attention to school work.

Plus my mom never talked to me about it.

When I became a full grown woman, I still didn’t think it a big deal,I never had any “complaints”,and I still haven’t had any “complaints” in fact all I’ve had are “compliments”.

But now I’m beginning to wonder whether my little flower is realy up to speed with “African sexual technology” of the long labia.

It is believed that a woman should begin to pull her labia at puberty in order to lengthen them for when the time comes for marriage(back then) for now I gues its for when you are ready to go full throttle regardless of marriage. Lets not pretend that people are not having sex before marriage because they are-irrespective of whether they go to church every weekend.

A couple of ladies I know recently got married and someone asked me if I knew of any “methods” for the “pulling of the labia” before they got married. This is a hush hush kinda subject among the ladies. Men are not supposed to know but nowadays they do aparently.

I politely said I didn’t and kept quiet,thinking to myself that I needed to find out just how seriously people take this thing.

I asked around a couple of guys how important it was for them for a woman to have this long labia. Some said it wasn’t an issue, they realy didn’t care much,only two out of the eight I asked said they liked them. And why? I asked : “it feels good as you go in,it enhances the sensations.”

 Out of the two, one said it was a must that a lady should have them, to the other it wasn’t such a big deal.

Some of my girlfriends take the issue to heart and say a woman,particularly an African woman is supposed to have the long labia”malepe”.

As we sat chatting and sipping tea-I was having coffee as usual, which am not even supposed to take-one mentioned  that if you got married without them then your marriage was doomed and your future husband would cheat on you,even divorce you because of them. I honestly found that totally ridiculous, no offence but why would someone divorce me over labia? Isn’t that little exaggerated? I asked.

 And one of them just looked at me and said “oh,just wait your time will come” it kinda sounded like a threat! This long labia thing freaks the hell out of me.

“what exactly do you pull?” I asked

“the labia”

I wasnt so clear but I let it slide

“so why exactly should I pull mine? I mean is it a must?”

“it enhances the guy’s sexual satisfaction.its like a door with a curtain on it,without them the guy just goes straight in with no friction and it helps you get tighter,these guys know about them,you think they dont care but they do,they talk about it among themselves” one of them said.

The door with curtain theory kinda didn’t fit-firstly as an interior designer lover I know for a fact that a curtain by the door would spoil the whole room, unless maybe she meant those beaded ones. Nevertheless…..and then there was the image of guys talking about labias.....

I thought about my little flower and how cumbersome it is for the “snake” to get in. The tight thing wasn’t an issue,I was already tight enough,parly because I do kegel exercises

“don’t you guys know about kegel exercises to make your muscles firm down there?” I asked

“what are kegels”? one of them asked.

I explained that you hold, flex your muscles down ,kinda like how you do when you pee and hold and pee and hold.

“nah,those don’t do anything! You need the long labia”

I didn’t want to argue,I was enjoying my coffee too much.

“so what do you use to pull them?” I asked giggling in my cup

“some use pegs”

“PEGS?!” I was aghast! “are you serious?!”

“yes,for a quicker fix,but others use mango leaves,the tiny stems from there,some use herbal medicines”

I almost chocked on my coffee with laughter  when I imagined myself with pegs on my labia tryn to move from one room to the other as they clung on. Epic.

“and how  “long” should they be?” still giggling

“half your pinkie is fine”

I was amused.

I’ve heard stories of “chezelaz” you know where the bride is kept up all night by a gang of women that give “advice” on marriage issues, including sex positions(even when you know all about them already) and they even go as far as checking if the bride to be has these “long labia”.

For some that take this seriously, if a woman doesn’t have them(every woman has them by the way,its just the length),they go back to the in-laws and tell them about it,then the in-laws will pay “hornless cattle”for  lobola; if she has them then the cattle will come with the horns. The hornless cattle was considered a shame.

I came back home and looked at my vagina I have treasured all these years,that has seen me through so many periods and through the bad and the good sex ,so loyal to me. Must I realy pull and deform her?? How will I be able to wear a pant?! My eyes grew wide as I looked in the mirror imagining the horrific scene. No way, am not gonna do it,I turned away from the mirror.

I rememberd what one of the ladies had said “you pull the labia” which one exactly? The outter one or the inner one? I didn’t know. Later on I found that its actually the INNER one.

I lay down on the bed n took off my underwear began feeling myself and trying to figure out what to pull,I got bored in a second.

Plus the skin there is just too delicate for “puliing purposes”,I decided others can pull theirs if they wanted.

Next day I did more research,asked around, I found that women that have been having sex all along without complaints still find themselves pulling before the wedding day,as a “requirement” for marriage,almost as if it were a seal to keep a marriage. The groom obviously gets a “surprise”..seeing this “change”.

It doesn’t  even seem to matter the level of education, whether independent woman or not with phds,masters or whatever,our African society of women take it realy seriously as part of culture and also as a guarantee for great sex especially for the man. Very few of us like me,don’t consider much of it.

I know of women that haven’t pulled and are totally happy,maybe even happier than those that have pulled. Both sexualy and  even other aspects of their relationships, its all about being compatible.

So I did some research like I said and found that actually,it’s a practice done in most parts of afica,for sexual enhancement,mostly for the guy,though the research claimed that even women enjoy it , as the penis rubs on the labia it acts as a catalyst for a woman’s orgasm. So am like-hm, ok,if its for MY enjoyment too,then maybe I might consider it.

What I have against this whole things is how it has been championed as a keeper of marriages to keep the man. No long labia=no safe marriage=high cheating probability=high chances of divorce.

I believe If a man will cheat,he will cheat,irrespective of whether you have a long labia or not.

I believe a woman should enjoy her sex life with her spouse; its not easy for a woman to have an orgasm,if the pulling of the labia helps with that,then its fine,do it for yourself FIRSTLY,then for HIM,don’t do things soley for him,even when you don’t like it for the sake of keeping the relationship. Theres nothing more frustrating for a man than a woman that pretends.

  And there is nothing more compressed than a woman that is not happy about her body.

I believe a woman should embrace her body in order for her to realy enjoy sex with her partner,most women are too self-conscious about this n that such that they don’t let go and enjoy the sex,their mind is too worked up thinking they are embarrassing themselves.

If you like the long labia and believe its good for you-go ahead,and pull,so long as it doesn’t pose any health risks for you. I don’t have anything against it,if it makes the woman happy and she is totally healthy. Good health is important,and particularly good reproductive health for the woman.

As for me I like the way I am just fine,i enjoy sex regardless of long labia or not,i believe it has to be enjoyed,God made it so-maybe I may change my mind in the future but am not thinking about pulling anything,using pegs,mango leaves,smoking pwder,herbal porridge or any of that. Whether its for culture’s sake or not,afterall its just some person long ago that started the whole thing and was so influential it was soon accepted by the majority. You just have to be convincing enough. Even I can make some funny “culture” if I wanted today and people would adopt it for generations to come if I have a large following. Not all “cultural” things are worth keeping especially those that infringe on a person’s human rights.

Am ok with the way I look, no one can make me pull anything. Am ok with the "length",i believe they are long enough otherwise "people" would have complained or told me about it.

If the man who wants to marry me demands them and am not ok with it,he just has to accept it,am not going to change my body for his sake. He should love me enough to respect that. If he is solely looking for long labia,he can go and find it elsewhere, then he isn’t worth it,because all that he is thinking about is the long labia.

He is marryn me as a whole,long labia or no long labia and I will be marryn him as a whole person,creepy penis and all.

A real man should be able to accept who you are, respect who you are. You chose him out of all the idiots in the world afterall,he’s one lucky ass. Inspite of his ego issues,you still chose him and he is blessed to have found somebody that tolerates him.

He isn’t perfect,let him not demand you be perfect,it doesn’t work that way.

I think people should be more forgiving and more giving in the relationships they are in,putting themselves in the other person’s shoes. Wanting  whats best for the other. But now most people are just too selfish, all they think about is themselves and their needs. Sad

Hmm,Plus One,In case you are wondering, I will not put my energies on my Plus One anymore,I feel he isn’t ready for something as deep as I can offer him. Am cool with it,I have learned from this,just as I have learned from others before him and have yet again discovered another side of me which is pretty interesting. That’s the thing about me,I always surprise myself with the people I relate with,they just continue to unearth more about me.

Its bedtime.